You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
