we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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