the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
