69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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