my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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