i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
