is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize