On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
