You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
