I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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