We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
