This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
