Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
