wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
