im six kinds of drunk right now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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