Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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