the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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