I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
