my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
