ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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