She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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