I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
