Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
