I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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