I look better un-naked...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
