Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I want to stick my p in your. b.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
