The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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