You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
