There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
