you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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