Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
