he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
