she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
