margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
