its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
