the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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