Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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