Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize