Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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