You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You left your phone here
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