college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
