i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
