after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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