He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
