I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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