so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
someone owes me an orgasm
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize