high people should be assigned attendants
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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