is wine microwaveable?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
