dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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