i jhust puked up my retainher.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
