I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
