just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
When are your genitals available?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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