And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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