We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
