Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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