i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
