I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
