friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
