I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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