There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Randomize
