im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize