They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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