The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
soo... how was my night?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Come on in and take your pants off
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
