I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just want to make out with him forever
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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