thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
