All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
