is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
