There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
